Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Missionary discussions, old and new

The new missionary (Elder or Sister) arrives in the mission field. The Senior companion takes him/her to a meeting with friends.

Experienced Missionary (EM): As you remember from last week, Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from ancient metal plates, using the Urim and Thummim.

New Missionary (NM): Uh, actually, Joseph didn't really translate anything.

EM: What do you mean?

NM: He didn't even use the plates. They were under a cloth the entire time he was dictating.

EM: Elder/Sister, that's not what we...

NM: Don't you read the Ensign? Or Book of Mormon Central? Or watch the latest videos? Seriously, Joseph just read words that appeared on a stone he put in a hat.

Friends (looking at EM): Last week you told us Joseph Smith translated the plates.

EM: He did. I mean, that's what I thought.

NM: That's what people used to think. But the Church historians have figured out that Joseph never translated anything, after all.

EM: What about the Urim and Thummim?

NM: When Joseph and Oliver Cowdery said he used the Urim and Thummim that came with the plates in Moroni's stone box, they actually meant Joseph used a seer stone he found in a well years earlier.

EM: Then where did the English translation come from?

NM: Someone from the 15th or 16th century produced it. It's sort of a "cultural" translation of what was on the plates. At least, that's our best guess right now.

Friends: Why don't you come back when you get your story straight? In the meantime, we'll just consult the Internet. 

1 comment:

  1. Hmmn! I think you are selling Elder Uchtdorf short (he's the Chairman of the Missionary Council) if this is how you think he is training the 70,000+ missionaries around the world at the moment. I've been on six full-time missions spanning 53 years and you clearly haven't got a clue what's going on out there.

    I know you're trying to sell your ideology - but have some class and show some respect to the young men, young women and senior couples who the aren't bumbling idiots you portray them to be in your analogy.

    ReplyDelete