Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Missionary discussions, old and new

The new missionary (Elder or Sister) arrives in the mission field. The Senior companion takes him/her to a meeting with friends.

Experienced Missionary (EM): As you remember from last week, Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from ancient metal plates, using the Urim and Thummim.

New Missionary (NM): Uh, actually, Joseph didn't really translate anything.

EM: What do you mean?

NM: He didn't even use the plates. They were under a cloth the entire time he was dictating.

EM: Elder/Sister, that's not what we...

NM: Don't you read the Ensign? Or Book of Mormon Central? Or watch the latest videos? Seriously, Joseph just read words that appeared on a stone he put in a hat.

Friends (looking at EM): Last week you told us Joseph Smith translated the plates.

EM: He did. I mean, that's what I thought.

NM: That's what people used to think. But the Church historians have figured out that Joseph never translated anything, after all.

EM: What about the Urim and Thummim?

NM: When Joseph and Oliver Cowdery said he used the Urim and Thummim that came with the plates in Moroni's stone box, they actually meant Joseph used a seer stone he found in a well years earlier.

EM: Then where did the English translation come from?

NM: Someone from the 15th or 16th century produced it. It's sort of a "cultural" translation of what was on the plates. At least, that's our best guess right now.

Friends: Why don't you come back when you get your story straight? In the meantime, we'll just consult the Internet. 

1 comment:

  1. Hmmn! I think you are selling Elder Uchtdorf short (he's the Chairman of the Missionary Council) if this is how you think he is training the 70,000+ missionaries around the world at the moment. I've been on six full-time missions spanning 53 years and you clearly haven't got a clue what's going on out there.

    I know you're trying to sell your ideology - but have some class and show some respect to the young men, young women and senior couples who the aren't bumbling idiots you portray them to be in your analogy.